On a Happier Note…

Love this song/video…

I couldn’t even count the number of times I’ve fallen in and out of love with the Mr.! And every time – just in time…

Kickstarts by Example

Cheers and Enjoy!

the Mrs.

Monday

Sweet and simple reveries…

The Mr. proved once again that he loves his sometimes grumpy wife… I blame the weather.

A happy man marries the girl he loves; a happier man loves the girl he marries.
Anonymous

the Mrs.

About S&S Reveries…

My dear friend

Today is your anniversary! Happy #4 :)

On your fourth year, anniversary gifts cover linen or silk, fruits or flowers (the hydrangea), and appliances – yes, according to modern traditions of course… I think I’d pick the appliance :)

So here they all are for you along with inspiring quotes I hope you enjoy!

You are beautiful and strong as a wife. May your marriage be blessed – you are always in my thoughts and prayers.

Hydrangea

~
I have loved flowers that fade,
Within those magic tents
Rich hues have marriage made
With sweet unmemoried scents.
Robert Seymour Bridges
~

 

Fresh Linen

^~
22 She makes coverings for her bed;
she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
Proverbs 31
~

 

Love in a Fruit

~
Love is a fruit in season at all times
and within the reach of every hand.
Mother Theresa
~

 

Silk Pillows

~
What a happy and holy fashion it is that those who love one another should rest on the same pillow.
Nathaniel Hawthorne
~

Capresso Electric Kettle

~
There is no trouble so great or grave that cannot be much diminished by a nice cup of tea.
Bernard-Paul Heroux
~

Love Through Division

 

 

We all have our arguments...

I’m going to do what most wouldn’t.

My husband and I are fighting again – and it’s the same issue as the last dozen fights. I’m mad, angry, heart-broken, and well on my way to being depressed. There – I said it. I’m even going to go further and I say I am not in-love with my husband right now. We are at currently at opposite ends of the spectrum, our best communication skills are currently insufficient and I pray daily we find each other again.

I’m not writing this to complain, vent or even find sympathy. I’m writing this because this is sometimes a very real part of marriage. And this is what my blog is intended to explore – both the challenges and the rewards of the biggest commitment in our lives. 

This is against one of my core rules to reveal that we are struggling right now. I inwardly cringe when someone compliments my marriage as a perfect example of strength and stability. Not that it isn’t strong and stable most of the time, but most just don’t see the struggles we plunder through on a regular basis…

Some couples are very open with friends and families about their marital status. While I prefer to keep these struggles private, I’m hoping to view this objectively and admit to everyone that yes, I too have marital problems.

Now hold your breath…

This is LOVE. 

My love for my husband will always prevail over every blocked path we encounter. It is through this love I can continue being his wife when I don’t feel like being around him, I can endure long arguments and sleepness nights when I have to go to work in the early morning, I can genuinely accept support from friends and family when I hate doing so in the first place, and I can know that in the end we will be okay even when I don’t see the light at the end of the tunnel. We made our vows, and we will live them.

This in no way purports our marriage as failing, or even suggests an “irreconcilable difference” between us. EVERY married couple will fight/argue/disagree over something very significant and even revisit this same issue throughout their relationship – after all, we have a whole lifetime to discover and tackle our differences.

But I will always have hope. I know who my husband really is, I know how much my husband really loves me, and I know that together we are better than if we lived our lives individually – this is why we chose each other.

I would like to share one of my favourite quotes from Alfred Adler:

We only regard those unions as real examples of love and real marriages in which a fixed and unalterable decision has been taken. If men or women contemplate an escape, they do not collect all their powers for the task. In none of the serious and important tasks of life do we arrange such a “getaway.” We cannot love and be limited.

We as humans tend to find our opposites for companions. More often than not, these differences balance us – while sometimes they divide us. We are currently in a state of division and as such, we will be seeking professional council. Unfortunately, my husband doesn’t know this yet. ;) But in the end… I’m sure he’ll agree.

the Mrs.

To Love or Not To Love – Valentine’s Day

What He Really Wants To Say

Every February with perfect timing Valentine’s Day unexpectantly shows up. Everyone has just settled in to relaxing after the holidays, enjoying the break from routine family visits and copious amounts of food to find these cheerful little hearts popping up everywhere. While the underlying theme of this day undyingly promotes expressions and thoughts of love, I find my mind continuously being drawn back towards my poor husband. And I do cherish him, love his quirky ways, and appreciate him for being the man of my life even when I’m not the woman of his…  

Back in the dating scene, I allowed my sense of expectation to ride the Valentine’s wave, only to disappoint myself in one way or another… I would work tirelessly at creating the most unique and thoughtful gift for my boyfriend onto to receive a quick smile and an awkward “you shouldn’t have” to creep out of his mouth. While he would do what every commercial told him to – buy a bouquet of flowers, some candy in a heart box and a teddy bear with “I love you” scrawled across the tummy. In turn, I as he, would give him a sweet kiss, quick smile and bash my eyelashes while accepting his token of love. And then, in 25 minutes, the moment would evaporate as quickly as the products came off the shelves the next day. We would eat the chocolates/candy together and make out until our sugar high wore off…  

Now in our marriage, this holiday takes on a whole new meaning. To be blatantly honest – I never consider nor expect any gifts or special treatment from my husband on this specific 14th day of the year. Nor do I feel compelled or even ispired for that matter to go out of my way to do something for him. This sounds almost depressing but we couldn’t be happier with this unspoken arrangement. We’ve been married for four years now, and still to this day have never truly celebrated this “love fest” of a holiday. Neither of us really want to pretend and so we don’t.   

We both truly appreciate that this burden of gift-giving isn’t in our to-do books. And I’m sure my husband is more than ecstatic that he doesn’t have to do anything that just doesn’t come naturally to him. In fact, I don’t know very many men for that matter that get excited for Valentine’s Day in the first place, some even dreading the possiblity of somehow offending his partner, merely by picking the wrong type of gift.  

At the very beginning of our relationship, we talked about how we would spend our holidays, taking into consideration our families and friends. We quickly realized we didn’t need a little sticker on our calendar to celebrate and recognize how much we love one another. Instead of waiting for the one window of opportunity in February to express our undying love, we take every day as a success to be celebrated, every excuse to congratulate each other,  and every reason to reward ourselves for continually contributing to one of the most rewarding challenges of our lives.  This goes to say that we aren’t much of the “holiday” celebrations type. But we definitely enjoy the excuse to attend a work party, close friends’ dinner, or even church benefit. Any reason to get out and have an evening of great wine and socializing will get us out of our quaint little residence… But together we just smile, partaking in the merriment and season of festivities that these corporate sponsored holidays bring out in our closest friends and family. 

For something different – I challenge those of us who are in a committed relationship to step back on this Valentine’s Day. Truly evaluate your efforts versus the impact they will have on your relationship. I hope that you grab any opportunity to spoil your sweetheart whenever its tickles your fancy – rather than wait for this once a year holiday. I think we would all agree a surprise gesture of love is in fact much more appreciated than an implied responsibility attached to a holiday. And I know the men would agree and appreciate one less imposed obligation to express their feelings too. 

So go celebrate in your own style – hopefully ending up together in each other’s arms for a passionate night of true love exchange. As for me, I’m going to Calgary for a weekend on the town with a couple of my girlfriends. My husband will be faithfully expressing his love for his XBOX with some continued one-on-one time. And when I get back, I’ll probably pick up some cheap “day after” candy for a night of sugar-high bliss with my one-and-only… 

Cheers & Happy Valentine’s Day! 

the Mrs.