Tag Archives: Chuck Norris

Wednesday

16 Jun

Sweet &  Simple Reveries…

Chuck Norris — I would like you to meet Billy Graham.

I got rid of my husband. The cat was allergic.
Anonymous

Billy Graham

the Mrs.

About Sweet & Simple Reveries…

Changelings…

11 Mar

My younger sister just successfully had her third child – and she’s only 23.

It’s at these momentous events that I am forced to reflect on the decisions I have made (in conjunction with my husband) to not have children up to this point. Not that we will never have anyjust not yet.  

I have another older sister – pregnant with her second child. My older brother (closest to my resemblance) is still on fast-track with his career without children – like me.  I love my nephews and nieces – truly – but these changelings are the very source of my indecision.  

My sister brought home the new babe just two days ago – and subsequently the older baby (now 3 yrs old) is leaving to stay at Gramma’s for the next month. While we will all miss him – more-so we are overjoyed to stop chasing this menace around the house every minute of the day. I’ve never known a child to make silence so eerie and ominous. Oh, if they could only stay so small, meek and angelic…  

Loud & Obnoxious

But they don’t. The very teachings we instill in children come back to haunt us eventually. It begins with the “No, don’t touch that, be nice, this is Auntie’s…” to hearing the child repeat verbatim when you ask them for something, “NO, MINE, DON’T TOUCH MY STUFF, ALL MINE!” The independence we encourage slaps us in the face when they make contrary decisions to ours – the control we wield slowly slips out of our fingers as they grow up into their own individual persons…  

My husband and I love children – truly (Wait didn’t I say that already?). But why don’t we love them enough to actually have any? Chuck Norris fits the bill quite nicely right now – he purrs when pet, cuddles on demand, requires little maintenance, eats whatever I feed him, plays quietly beside me while I work and never touches my stuff. Whereas, the nephews/nieces get into everything, need 24 hour watch, only want to cuddle when they are sick and full of germs, refuse to entertain themselves and put up a huge fake fight when it’s time for bed and nightly kisses.  My only defense against these changelings are my wits and intellect. My customized punishments involve mental anguish and unanticipated logical puzzles that they fail to understand so they tip their heads to the side and say “huh?”. I win and they lose only by their short attention span and lack of depth. Their confusion my slip in the door, and finally their submission my success…  

Quiet & Sweet

And then my thoughts drift back to the newborns … quietly bundled and sleeping majority of the day, only waking to feed and peek out from their blankets when curious. I want one, but can I lease it and exchange for another angel in 12 months? Or maybe I just need to live alone with my husband for a while to forget these beautiful children and possibly hope to have one of our own.

I was a changeling once – and my parents still had another… Maybe we as adults are the ones with short attention spans and unable to entertain ourselves except to continue breeding half & half versions of ourselves? Or just maybe, if I wasn’t able to have any my opinion would change? Who knows – until then… Chuck Norris – what would I do without you?     

the Mrs.    

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