365 days. 110 articles.

Marriage has, is and always will be such an interesting topic. It’s an institution; a lesson; an ideal; a pursuit; a promise.  It can be exciting, fresh and unpredictable yet still naïve in its youth, boring on occasion, and at times completely chaotic.

While matrimony can be paradise for some or prison for others, the only way to understand is to open its doors, enter it’s new and challenging world, and then survive on its founding oaths; both curse and blessing to those brave enough to domesticate it; marriage is truly NOT for the faint of heart.

In as few as five years, we have fallen together and stood back up. We have utterly failed one another and forgiven. We have found beauty in our sacrifices and rebuilt success with broken dreams. We have spoken our vows and depended on them when in need…

So why do we choose such a daunting lifetime commitment when the odds of surviving what we call marriage are against us?

When it all comes down to it – I think life, though sometimes difficult and unrewarding, is simply better when shared… And to be told its impossible or even naïve hope to believe in marriages that last a lifetime – well… to some of us – that is a challenge we are willing to accept.

This past year has been quite the curve for me, in both my marriage and my writing. In fact, they are both turning a corner once again. It’s kind of funny when you’re writing finally catches up with its original intent. Change is good…

In review and after a year of writing, it’s time to start anew and refocus. So THANK YOU for reading my thoughts and sharing yours with mine. MAO has been a blast.

To the next chapter in all of our lives… And may your marriages be blessed with each day shared!

Cheers with wine!

the Mrs.

P.S. I’m going to leave these posts up for a bit… I’ll procrastinate the cleaning for a little while.

Our Shared World of Marriage

Consider this…

Must all pivotal marriage lessons be difficult?

Our Shared World of Marriage

Probably one of the weirdest moments I’ve experienced since moving to Alberta would include my first visit to our new family doctor.

Ready to give a full health background and discuss my physical well-being, I was quite shocked to be asked a very personal question. After the quick introduction and family talk, the first thing my new doctor asked me was – “Between 1 to 10, how would you rate your marriage today?”

My first response (with a little skepticism) was – “Um… What’s it matter to you?” But – according to the new Doc, our marriage has A LOT to do with my health. Interesting…  Normally, I would have told anyone to mind their own business, but as Doc explained his reasoning, I was intrigued that he was even remotely interested in outside influences, ie. marriage, that could have any impact, good or bad, on my overall health. 

Now that I think of it, having a Doc who isn’t interested in my emotional, physical AND mental health is kind of like having a financial planner who isn’t interested in my bad debt, personal values, AND goals in life…

So now it goes to say with every visit, instead of the usual “How are you feeling today?”, I’m faced with rating my marriage before a health professional. Although the answer sometimes can be quite revealing on an intimate level, it’s blatancy forces me to account for a lot in one single digit number…

Thankfully, my reluctant answer rocked Doc off his feet when I gave him a curt “8/9 out of 10”. He was actually surprised that I gave anything over 5! Now it was MY turn to be shocked – how could most of his married patients report a mere 5 out of 10?? The answer to that question is apparently “classified”, but it surprised me to hear that they were merely existing in their marriages.

I must admit that although I’m not at the doctor’s to discuss my marital relationship, it has forced me to reflect on the impact my marriage could be having on my health. Marriage isn’t just the wedding or the anniversary – it’s the everyday. And to that effect I’m sure that my rating has changed quite variably between my quarterly visits with Doc.

This simple rating of course doesn’t place my marriage at the root of my health problems – but now I am the more wise to recognize any pattern between marital discord and surfacing health issues.

I’m interested to know where you would rate your marriage TODAY… I understand this is a personal question and albeit a tough one to quantify – but just think of it as a little poll. Feel free to come back tomorrow and change your mind – after all, marriage isn’t a joy-ride everyday. I’m just hoping that over time, I can gauge the feelings of other married couples and the states of their marriage.

How many of us are living blissful marriages? How many of us are in a marriage prison? And do you notice/feel it’s impact on your current physical/mental/emotional health?

I’ll be honest and say that we’ve hit every number from 1 to 10 over our five years of marriage. And I would also say that those numbers would fairly accurately correspond with my well-being over the course of events and milestones that we’ve shared. 

So give it a chance and be honest – How happy are you in your marriage today?

Time to try out my new Poll Daddy…

So here’s my first poll! – I’d like to get a feel for those of us married couples and the impact of California’s Proposition 8 on our respective relationships. Here’s some links for further reading if you are unfamiliar with the latest news…

Organizational sponsor of Proposition 8 >>> www.protectmarriage.com
Organizational opponent to Proposition 8 >>> http://www.noonprop8.com/
[Update: Domain is expired! Will try to find another website…]
California’s Voter Guide on Proposition 8
Read the Official Proposition 8 Ruling Document here

Feel free to comment – I understand that polls rarely do any justice as there is always an underlying perspective to each persons’ opinion and I would love to hear them. For starters – the first vote will be mine – and it’s No.

~Cheers with Wine!~